The numerous improvements in the Palm IX have indeed not come without a cost. The Palm IX is now the largest handheld on the market. While most handhelds are roughly 5 inches x 3 inches and weigh approximately six ounces, the Palm IX is 1 1/2 feet x 2 feet and weighs 70 pounds. See Figure B for a sense of scale.

FIGURE B


Using infrared technology, a Palm IX owner can "beam" data to another Palm unit. Roll over picture for a larger image.

Mudnick addressed the size issue. "These days, everyone is thinking smaller and smaller. But there's such a thing as 'too small.' For example, my wife bought a chihuahua last year and I accidentally threw the damn thing away. That will never happen with the Palm IX," Mudnick chuckled. "In fact, I can envision a day where our Palm devices become so big that they will have to rest on top of a desk. We're even considering adding an external 'keyboard device' to allow for easy input."

Palm, Inc. hopes that the Palm IX will make consumers quickly forget about the underwhelming Palm VII. "The problem [with the Palm VII] was that we didn't listen to the needs of our customers. We're not making the same mistake this time. We incorporated almost every suggestion we received into the development of this product. If you asked for it, America, we gave it to you," bragged Mudnick.

In a recent press conference, Palm released samples of the customer feedback that were incorporated into the Palm IX:

"Your next Palm product needs to have a GPS locator."

"Give it a laser pointer. Maybe even three or four."

"Can you put a knife in it? And hurry."

"I like ketchup. Could it dispense ketchup?"

"Hey Palm guys. Wouldn't it be killer if your thingy had a crime lab?"

"My grandmother has a bonsai garden. But they're not very portable."

"You can't go wrong with a meat thermometer."

"Dear Mr. PalmPilot man. I want to meet the women. Can you help me to meet the women?"

The only suggestion that Palm was not able to accommodate was the following:

"Whatever you do, please don't make it any bigger."

When asked about why the unit had to be so large, Mudnick responded, "The problem [with adding a whole bunch of nifty features into a really small device is that the device tends to] overheat. In the past, we've crammed hundreds of processors and microchips into a small handheld, but it would always overheat and catch on fire. That created a lot of problems in meetings or on airplanes. That's why the Palm IX is so big."

Palm Inc. is not resting on its laurels, however. It is rapidly working on the Palm XV, a handheld device that, according to Yankowski, will take up the size of an entire room and require three or four men to operate.

One of the original Fool staff, Todd Etter is currently in charge of the Department of Creative Foolery, keeping things fun, humorous, and lively on the site and around Fool HQ. In addition to his Foolish ways, Todd performs improvisational humor with ComedySportz, a national improv organization with more than 20 locations across the country.